Friday, April 18, 2008

Give Birth By Listening

20 years ago today, our fourth child - our second son - was born. He was born at home. Such a happy and wonderful day for all of us!

My husband, my three older children, three of my best friends, as well as three midwives, where there to stand by and let things take their course. It was a long and peaceful day of playing cards, music, back rubs, good food, and when the sun went down, a brand new baby boy, welcomed into so many arms. Expecting my fourth baby to just pop out (– the third one had come so fast the doctor had to catch her while yelling at the nurse to bring him a chair) - we finally figured out that the soothing music we were listening to all day, had slowed down labor. We turned it off and the baby came really fast.

It must be the listening part of my brain that gives birth.

It is the listening part of my brain that is the best to raise children with, too. It always works better than talking – I am still working on that one even after all these years. The birthday boy is a great listener! He listens so well, sometimes you don’t notice he is in the room, which is a rare quality. It means he is not judging while he is listening - very scientific. Then when he says something you can always tell that what he is saying, is informed by listening. It is a great quality he has.

When people ask me how I came up with Here You Are – I have to honestly tell them that I didn’t. It came to me out of the blue after meditating for days. Meditating could be called a form of listening just before and just after the deeper levels of silence. Then when I tried to bring the book to life and it was way too much work and way beyond my skills – listening made me put one foot in front of the other until it was done. Many of those steps - especially the tech ones, I made with the patient help of my son. So listening is something to recommend highly – all kinds of things come to life if we do. I always listen to The Bear, and so does the rest of the family. Sometimes what we’re listening to is simply his ability to listen. Happy Birthday, Bear!

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