By "MeditationMom" - Children's Book Author, Mayke Beckmann Briggs---------
------"That which is an Absence in a very Young Child, becomes a Presence in a Sage." -----
The Parent-Child Relationship provides the Alchemy for turning Lead into Gold, the Fear of Death into Love, Confusion into Peace, and Childishness into Wisdom. As we help our Children to become Adults we have an Opportunity to allow them to help us recover the Wholeness of our own Childhood.
This line in Here You Are, every time I read it to five-year-olds in Kindergarten or in First Grade, makes everyone sit up straight. Eyebrows go up, mouths open, accompanied by wriggling and looking around the classroom. It seems to be the main thing to wonder about at that age, while out in the big wide world for the first time on a regular basis. It is quite something to have to figure out who is on your side and who is trying to hurt you when you are five years old, and suddenly find yourself among dozens, if not hundreds of strangers every day at school.
Here You Are's magic does not come from clever advice on the subject of friends and enemies or any other questions raised, but from confirming this "wondering" about things, that we all do. Readers who do not wonder about anything, or who, if they do, want others to give them answers, find Here You Are boring, if not "offensive". Those who wonder and try to see with their own eyes and decide with their own hearts, on the other hand, are often so deeply touched that they start crying and putting their hands on their hearts.
Some Christians wrongly assume this book is based on Hinduism or Buddhism when it clearly is about "the kingdom within" we all share and that all religions talk about. Nobody is closer to it than children, no matter their religion. People forget this major teaching of Jesus. And he did not mean only Christian children. This kingdom within is the answer to all questions arising in the material world of opposites. Here You Are shows the way - which has been called the long journey from here to here. That's what's so much fun about it. Here we are, and nowhere else for all of eternity, no matter whether "here" looks like heaven or looks like hell or like nothing at all. "Here" is the truth that sets us free. A person who can remain "here" fully, without wanting to be anywhere else, even in the middle of being crucified, like Jesus, is home, free, and "at-one" with God. God is here, eternal, infinite, perfect. And it is so simple, and so obvious, that you have to chuckle.
Think of a person you love closely. Look at the following pairs of circles, and pick the pair that represents the overlap between who you are, and who that person is.
Psychologists have shown that the longer a couple have been together, and the closer they are, the more overlapping the circles they tend to pick (Aron, Aron & Smollan, 1992). They refer to this as “inclusion of self in the other.” As people grow together, the other becomes a part of who we are, like a tree growing to partly swallow a bolt that has been placed through it. This is part of why breakups of long relationships hurt so much - even if all parties agree that splitting is for the best and that they are better off apart, each is losing a piece of them selves. That’s not something one can cure with a few happy thoughts. It usually takes time to restore oneself back to being completely whole, and there aren’t a whole lot of shortcuts around this. Such is the price that must sometimes be paid. Few great things are completely free.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Our 82-year-old grandmother - my husband's mother - is dying of breast cancer. Her youngest grandchild - our 9-year-old son - who is used to people dying every day in car crashes, falling off cliffs, and getting blown up into a million pieces in massive explosions, but who then, instantly pop back up on the next level - does not quite know what it will really mean. When it happens he may just think she is now on the next level, and we won't see her again until we ourselves get there.
It reminds me when my oldest son - now 29 - had his first Nintendo, and Mario became a permanent member of our family. From then on, whenever I called the kids to dinner - his "reassurance" to me that he was on his way, was: "OK, Mom... I guess I'll just kill myself."- in that floppy-eared, defeated Eore voice.
My kids ended up killing themselves regularly to comply with dinner rules. I was always a bit uneasy about that. Somehow video games have given us this take on death. Kind of like Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
Last week - when days of homework, soccer games in the rain, and all the other stresses of being a nine-year-old came together in one devastating moment of having to postpone the purchase of a five dollar toy, I said to my wailing child:"I understand your disappointment, little man, but let's think a bit about how distraught you are right now, in contrast to last week's rather calm reaction when I told you that Grandma might be dying."
"I know Mom... I get it... and I know I'll be really sad when she is actually dead, but now it doesn't seem sad to me - 'cause she's still alive!That's why I can't be sad about her now, and it's why I can't be happy about getting that toy all the way next week, either!"
Checkmate. Once again, reminded by one of my children of what it's like to live in the present.
But - he did wake up to the vast difference between "life and death issues" and issues of mere childhood consumerism. It was a growing-up day. We celebrated that he wasn't a baby anymore. To babies everything is a life and death issue. He was very pleased in the end about this grown up delayed gratification.
Then, we received a - just in case- early Halloween card in the mail from Grandma - which contained a surprising $10.00 bill - to spend on something fun. The card played a spooky song when you opened it and featured lots of skeletons dancing around a fire, and announced - "Halloween is just around the corner. I can feel it in my bones!"
"Me too!" Grandma had signed the card.
We drove to ToysR Us the very same day, happy that Grandma was still alive.
Start your exploration of Ramana’s Garden and Dwabha’s work by watching these videos.
Interview http://ambassadorsforchildren.org/www2/?action=invite, An interview with Dwabha in India at Ramana’s Garden produced by Ambassadors for Children. Dwabha presently has 60 children living with her – her children – and 189 children arriving every morning to attend school where they receive an excellent education, learn to speak fluent English and are not abandoned during their teenage years, but further educated to be teachers, electricians, plumbers, doctors, nurses, bakers etc, depending on funds and children’s abilities.
Documantary http://www.ifilm.com/video/2866372, A wonderful documentary produced recently about Ramana’s Garden and Dwabha, also known as Dr. Prabavati. It starts with a yahoo commercial – just wait it out – it is the right video. Our friend Dwabha has been in the news a lot lately. If you google Dwabha, Dr. Prabhavati, or Ramana’s Garden you will have your work cut out for you. Many volunteers and souls in need of finding new meaning in life venture out to India to visit her, and work with her in her project. The children always benefit, and the volunteers and visitors always benefit more. There are many travel blogs from these volunteers and supporting organizations that make surfing the net is a bit confusing. Therefore I am compiling this list of the most important links and explanations to ease the search.
There are other foundations in other countries - India, Spain, Holland, England - you can find on her website above.
For even more information visit the following sites throughout this text and the additional links at the bottom of the page.
We live in such affluence in the West, yet our hearts feel drained when we see the need of others around us here and in the world. In Ramana’s Garden, where the children who live there have seen the absolute worst in their short lives, there is a different kind of abundance - the kind money can’t buy – and they dish it out daily in large quantity to anyone who comes to visit. Smiles, hugs, singing, dancing, celebrating life as it is and cultivating gratitude and hope in the face of incredible odds. In return friends and volunteers leave money with Dwabha for food, shelter, schooling, clothing etc. It disappears quickly even in India, when you have 244 children to take care of and have to travel around the globe once a year to remind your sponsors and friends that you are still fighting the good fight. In spite of the recent press coverage and success stories - life for Dwabha and her supporters is still very much hand to mouth every year. We hope to change that in the very near future as much seems to be happening at the moment that gives us hope for future financial independence – if everyone keeps their promises.
Ramana’s Garden is linked to the West in two extremely important ways. Harvard and many other Universities send their medical students for their internships, and for full academic credit every year. Not only do the children in Dwabha’s school, but also the surrounding population benefited by this regular, free medical care.
Another organization, LeapNow of America, through a lawyer in Marin County, sends troubled teenagers in groups or 30 annually to spend two weeks in a work and meditation retreat with Dwabha at the summer mountain camp, and then a week with the children in Ramana’s Garden. In five years, not one! of these youngsters has returned to crime or drugs - an unprecedented success and valuable model for rehabilitation. For letters from all kinds of different volunteers go to http://www.sayyesnow.org/volunteer.html
We have known Dwabha for over a decade and have helped her along the way, whether we needed to buy land, leases, tents, or airline tickets. Through many of the difficulties over the years we have come to know her, her courage, her faith, her trustworthiness and her integrity, and can vouch for her to our friends. We have been to Ramana’s Garden with our children, know many of her children personally, and have with great joy watched their progress over the years.
We have also learned much about the business of charity. Most foundations take 5-10% of all donations – no matter how small or large the amount of the donation. Thousands of dollars end up in the pockets of these foundations – legally – but in our humble opinion immorally. Foundations are nice because the donors get to deduct their donations from their taxes, but not all their money reaches the children. We have opted to donate directly but have also worked on setting up foundations run by individuals who think like us – that every penny should go to the kids.
http://www.pegasuschildren.org/works_newhome.html, a fantastic new way to build solid and cheap housing using dirt as the main building ingredient. Several of these houses are being built at the Mountain Summer Camp right now.
http://www.pacificdomes.com/index.html the origianl domes that started Ramana's Garden ten years ago. http://www.goldenbridgeyoga.com/uploads/images/ramana.html, another video – not as good as the other two – posted by the Yoga Studio to the Stars in Hollywood called Golden Bridge and run by Gurmukh. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramana_Maharshi, Who is Ramana Maharshi?
Dwabha studied with his oldest and most important disciple, Papaji, who told her that her time with masters was finished and that the River Ganga was to be her master from now on. She went there and lived in a cave until a spring flood washed away all her meager possessions which included her passport, ticket home, money etc. In the videos she briefly talks about how the poorest of the poor took care of her, offering her everything they had, only to worry about it being enough. It is when she decided that that was all she wanted from now on – to learn from them this ability to give with such abandon.
Through supporting Ramana’s Garden anyone can make a big difference in not just these Indian children’s lives but also to keep it all going for the many volunteers that work and learn at Ramana’s Garden every year, who come from all over the world and from all kinds of backgrounds. Making a donation is great and rewarding - much needed help that is deeply appreciated. Also consider visiting, to personally see your generosity at work in this magical place called Ramana’s Garden where the most beautiful flowers grow.
