Seriously Humbling

Following is a post that was on Dr Laura Schlessinger's blog today. It is titled "Choosing Life", which, I am assuming rightly or wrongly, is intentionally misleading, making people expect a post about abortion. That in itself was interesting on many levels.

I was happily surprised to find it to be instead about the letter she read on her show the other day, that had created such a moment of truth in my car, that I turned the car off in the parking lot I was in, and stayed to listen, even though I was in a hurry "to get things done" before - well, all the other things that needed to get done.

While she was reading the letter, and talking about it, it was clear, that she felt that one of her readers was living what she preaches in her new book "Stop Whining, Start Living"- better than she is, or thinks she is, or could, without being in the same circumstances. She kept saying repeatedly, that it was "seriously humbling". "Seriously humbling" stuck in my mind. That is the way I felt myself, because of this reader's letter.

Her blog post unfortunately does not come close to convey the silent moment of universal truth that was created on the radio that afternoon. Such are the limits of blogging versus a radio show.

I think Dr. Laura's post would be stronger without the Satan story. If you are allergic to any mention of Satan skip that paragraph. What in ancient times was called Satan, now is often called "the illusion" or "maya", or the "Ego" that Eckhart Tolle tries to teach people to dissolve. In Christian Science it is called "mortal mind", versus "divine mind". Psychologists call it our shadow side. If your attitude is like the Dalai Lama's as in "My religion is kindness", Satan simply becomes irrelevant.

Irrelevance - ouch!

Here is Dr. Laura's post:

I want to share with you a letter I got from a woman who listens to my radio program:

Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a serious, progressive, degenerative disease, which will eventually end in a torturous death. That’s the bad news. Now for the great news.

I believe this may be the best gift I could have been given. Thanks to you and just the title of your book, “Stop Whining, Start Living,” I realize I have received knowledge most people never get-that is, that this is my best day. I will never feel better, so I CHOOSE to live it thoroughly, and wring out every last drop of love, laughter and giving that I can. Tomorrow, I will CHOOSE to do the same.

You can’t imagine how energizing this is, to know that each day is the best day of your life.

There is an old Rabinnic story lesson that Satan’s most potent weapon is to let humans believe they have “all the time in the world.” That’s because when we feel that time is limitless, we tend to put less value in each moment…in each day. When we don’t value the moment, we don’t tend to make the best, most noble decisions, and instead, follow our impulses - thereby making our souls more “available” to Satan, as the story goes.

When I received this letter, I was truly and deeply impacted. I wondered at first, as I suspect most of you would too, if I could dig that deep into myself to pull out that perspective and live it. I then realized that this woman’s thoughts would be in my head for the rest of my life, and would inspire and guide me if I have to face imminent and painful mortality. My final reaction, with a slap against my own forehead, is that we need to live each day with her mentality.

She isn’t ignoring or denying her disastrous fate. She is CHOOSING to live each day in order to make it the best she’ll ever have. In her case, it’s literally true. For you and me, it is figuratively true, and therefore, wholly dependent upon our choice of mood and behaviors.

Her letter is at the philosophical center of my book, “Stop Whining, Start Living.” It humbles me to be reminded of my own words by people who are struggling more than I. I am reminded of the values I hold most dear, and which help me survive the nonsense and villainy that tempt every day’s despair. Purpose is the antidote to despair. And teachers need to be reminded of that, too."

The woman is right - the title of the book is enough. But, if you need the book here is the Amazon link as well as the link to the blog.

Dr Laura Schlessinger and Homosexuality

I have previously written about Dr Laura Schlessinger and found an opposing view on her you can check out here.

It is true that I have to turn off the show once my kids are in the car because of the aggressive language. She is the Simon Cowell of advice gurus and can be quite harsh. She isn't always right, and she isn't often wrong.

Her program is successful because most of the time her advice works for the people who call her. That to me is always something nice to listen to - when a caller is truly helped and set on a more successful path with their problem. Most of the time she is simply dealing with pettiness and self-pity. Once in a while a really lost soul calls in and she brings them back to life. Sometimes being harsh is not wrong, maybe even wise. Once in a while she crucifies people who you just hope will be OK afterwards. It used to happen more often in the past than nowadays.

People feel that they are listening in on a private conversation and can learn from others' mistakes. Even the callers feel more private talking in front of 20 million radio listeners, than to someone else in their lives in person.

Her main intention is to help children. Children are the victims, whether you want to call the adults who make their lives miserable "stupid", like Dr Laura, or "struggling with difficult issues" as a trained psychologist. There are too many adults and children who call in to report how following her advice has drastically changed their lives for the better, to dismiss her just because of her opinion regarding homosexuals or because of her offensive language. Taken with a grain of salt she has plenty to contribute. Just like one has to take homosexuals with a grain of salt. Not all homosexuals are all sweet and wonderful. God bless the ones who are raising children well, Hopefully their children do not have to hear what Dr. Laura has to say about their parents.

Last not least - the viewpoint that there is something wrong with homosexuality does not find much expression in the media. It is the "forbidden" opinion. Just like many decades ago, the idea that homosexuality is perfectly fine, was the "forbidden" opinion . That is why right wing radio and television are making millions and millions of dollars. The pendulum keeps swinging back and forth as it has done for endless ages. Good businessmen always know when and where to catch it, and exploit the people who keep fighting over the various issues.

Homosexuality is as old as the earth, and so is sex in general. Is a lot of sexual activity on both the heterosexual and homosexual side quite perverted these days? For sure. It always amuses me when homosexuality is singled out when it comes to promiscuity, prostitution, abuse, molestation, rape and sodomy, or any other extreme and uncomfortable ideas about what people do to each other. I see plenty of that in heterosexual circles.

When some animals live in overpopulated cages they start behaving homosexually, so it may just be a way of the earth to do a little population control. Throw AIDS into the mix and nature reduces the burden on our earth quite effectively while scientist grow babies in tubes. Homosexuality on one side, and what Dr Laura represents on the other - are two opposite forces which create and sustain each other. Neither side will ever be eliminated no matter how loud either side protests.

Each individual needs to quietly check within their own heart to know what is right for them in their life, and then live this - even if they have to end up being crucified.

Dr Laura Schlessinger

Dr Laura Schlessinger, for those of you who don't know, is a radio talk show host who gives advice to parents, couples and other odd ducks, on the air from noon until three in the afternoon - where I live. She is what you would call an ultra conservative, fighting for the life of unborn children, or any other scenario that would be best for children. She tells adults to shut up and grow up, get with the program, and do what it takes to raise those kids they have put on the planet. Even if you aren't an ultra conservative - you find yourself agreeing with her advice most of the time. It is practical, and often helps to confirm to the callers "what the right thing" to do is. They often just call to get the proverbial kick in the butt they know they need. Even when you don't agree with her advice, her take is often an intelligent challenge to your own thinking to help you sharpen your own reasoning on any issue.

I have listened to her for over 13 years now during my daily half hour trip of picking up my children from school. I have "watched" her grow through her irritable pre-menopause years to the more grounded days we are blessed with in our fifties and sixties. She gives me hope :-). Her patience with some of the callers is impressive. Her authenticity alone is inspiring, regardless of your own political, moral or religious views. She lives her talk and is open and frank about her own challenges which include an estranged mother now dead, and a son serving in Iraq, which required her to grow up before her listeners eyes - or better - ears. To give him, her only child, the freedom to live this level of a dangerous life, by mastering her worry, being proud of him and cheering him on with her daily "hoohaaa" - which can break your heart and quickly send a prayer upstairs to keep her son safe - did not come easy or overnight for her - or her listeners. She does not ask any level of growing up from her callers she isn't willing to do herself, which ultimately is the power of her program, or any human being for that matter, who wants to inspire people.

As far as ultra conservative, moral people go, what makes her so likable even to people on the other side of the isle, is her lack of self-righteousness, her flexibility in her advice without giving up her core principles - quite an art - and her "what's best for the kids is what's right" approach. We can't ever have enough people to remind us of that.

What makes her unlikable or annoying to many is her certainty of her world view, which is of course the very same reason people who like her, call her for advice.

Since she has such a large audience of especially mothers, there are a lot of interesting, useful, funny, or deeply touching posts on her blog you might enjoy.