Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Long Time No See

Life took over and blogging time was gone all of a sudden. All my children came home, and both my parents, and parents in law, moved in with us for the summer to spend as much time as possible with the new great grand baby. A good time was had by all - except for a few days, here and there, that had everyone crying, and then making up. We're all closer, and - well, maybe wiser.

The funniest thing was that all the drama of the past, living in everyone's mind either doesn't exist in other family member's memory banks, is remembered completely differently, or suddenly remembered with great shock. Half the family members heard old stories that went on between other family members for the first time and were astounded. Others were looking for understanding and forgiveness, justifications or explanations. In the end all our little stories were so confusing, and the fact that one man's truth was another man's un-truth, was so unsettling, that everyone returned to their personal versions of events with great explanations to themselves about "what was going on with the other people" and why they had a different take on things. Everyone preserved their Egos in tact, and had their own spouses for allies - that part is both cute, and disconcerting. It is a survival instinct, not necessarily love and loyalty, and it hardly ever lead to true insights or truth about things. It was a useful and harmony restoring form of practical denial. There is function in family dis-function, and every family has their own special version they somehow treasure - or just can't do anything about, and look beyond in order to not lose the love for the people that make up this thing called family and family history.

We know our senses fool us, but our memory does, too. Does nothing matter? Everything matters, but only right now, here. Once it is past, or not yet - it is nothing. It is good. We're free.

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